You're not broken. You're not incomplete. You're not "still working on yourself." You're whole—right here, right now.

You are whole—right here, right now.

We are whole.

We are complete just as we are.

As Alan Watts wisely said, "Life is not a problem to solve but an experience to be had."

There is no such thing as good or bad in experience—it simply is. It is the voice in our heads that labels, that builds a belief system of good or bad, right or wrong, should or shouldn't. But who says? You say. You decide.

During this 50th year, I feel I have been in the fire—the fire of releasing all the beliefs that keep me small. Second-guessing myself, pleasing others, seeking acceptance... I am exhausted. I don't want any of that anymore. I do not want to second-guess myself; I do not need anyone else's acceptance.

And as I say that, I acknowledge that as humans, we fundamentally need belonging. We absolutely need others; we need to be seen, felt, heard, and even understood. But if I am not giving that to myself, if I am not moving through life allowing and being in that space for myself, then I will constantly be looking for it from others. And that is exhausting.

As my friend Dan wisely says, "Don't be an ASKhole"—stop asking for guidance, help, support, and respect if you are not first giving it to yourself or even hearing what others say. Stop asking for others to teach, show you, or give you what you are not willing to give yourself. This truth cuts to the heart of our tendency to seek externally what we must first cultivate internally.

I am tired of being tired. The thing that exhausts me is the feeling that I need to be doing, that I need to accomplish, that I need to be seen, heard, and understood by others. I have come to realize I need to give this to myself, at all times. And if I am doing that, there is nothing to do—there is just a space to be, and in that comes ease and grace.

In standing in my wholeness, I find the peace that comes from accepting that I am enough, exactly as I am. The journey of self-acceptance isn't about becoming something more—it's about recognizing the completeness that has been there all along.

I will take the time for myself, to be seen, heard, and understood by me and for me.

If this means that I cannot meet you where you are, I am not able to discuss an issue, I am not able to meet your needs at this time, then so be it.

My job is to take care of me, to meet these needs in myself, so that when I do show up for you or with you as need be, I am standing in my wholeness.

I will no longer be on someone else's terms but on my terms, what feels the safest and most aligned to me. And that is compassion—that is standing in my wholeness of compassion for myself so it flows out for others and not taking and exhausting me to give to others.

This is by no means saying we can be assholes. Kindness is the most needed thing in our world today—I can be kind and say I am not available, I prefer not to have that discussion, I prefer to say I am not available, I am needing to take care of my needs. Setting boundaries with grace and kindness is possible and necessary.

Daily Affirmation: I am whole. There is nothing I need, and everything my heart and soul needs is already being fulfilled.

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What if the exhausting search for completion ends the moment you recognize what's already there?

Through my self-inquiry coaching practice, I guide you back to your innate wholeness. As your facilitator, I create a sacred space where transformative questions lead you to the source of limiting beliefs and old wounds, revealing the magnificent truth of who you've always been.

My book, "Courageous Compassion," illuminates the path to discovering deep self-compassion—the kind that naturally flows outward to heal our world. Because let's face it: our world desperately needs more humans who stand confidently in their wholeness and worth, radiating authentic compassion.

Ready to stop seeking and start being? Let's begin this journey together.

Reflective Prompts

Understanding Your Need for External Validation

Take time to sit with each question. Let your responses flow naturally, without judgment. Remember, this is a conversation with yourself.

Being Seen

1. When I say "I need to be seen," what exactly am I hoping others will see in me? What parts of myself am I hiding or failing to acknowledge?

2. Think of a moment when you felt truly seen by someone. What made that moment special? How can you create that same feeling of recognition for yourself?

3. In what situations do I dim my light or make myself smaller? What fears or beliefs are driving these choices?

Being Felt

1. When was the last time I deeply acknowledged my own emotions without trying to change them? What holds me back from sitting with my feelings?

2. How do I respond to my own pain or disappointment? Am I as compassionate with myself as I would be with a dear friend?

3. In what ways do I seek emotional validation from others instead of trusting my own emotional experience?

Being Heard

1. When was the last time I truly listened to my inner voice? What was it trying to tell me?

2. What parts of my story or experience am I waiting for others to validate? What would it feel like to fully own and honor these parts myself?

3. How often do I silence my own wisdom in favor of others' opinions? What would change if I trusted my inner knowing?

Integration Questions

1. What patterns do you notice in your responses? Are there specific areas where you consistently seek external validation?

2. If you were to fully give yourself the recognition you seek from others, what would need to change in your daily life?

3. What small step could you take today to begin honoring your own wholeness more fully?

Remember: The answers you seek often, you already have, and they lie in the questions themselves. Take time to revisit these prompts regularly, noting how your responses evolve as you strengthen your relationship with yourself.